For most of my life I was often sexist, derogatory and deeply disrespectful towards women. I’m sorry.
There are many reasons and contributing factors that I can blame that lead to this type of behaviour, but I want to start of this very candid post by taking full responsibility for how I showed up and to apologize wholeheartedly to any women that I hurt during this period of my life.
I turn 30 in just a few days and have been going through a period of deep reflection for the past six months looking at the deep-rooted belief systems that make up my ego. I am going to share some things with you in this post that may trigger some people, so I’d like to start off by saying that I am only sharing with you my direct experiences and that my intention is to shine a light on something that has changed my whole life in the most amazing way.
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I have had lots of love for many women throughout my life and have enjoyed deep relationships with many female friends, employees and family members. I didn’t think that there was anything wrong with being a woman, but I knew that men and women were very different, and I did treat them differently. I saw women almost as a different species, with their own rules and operating systems. I had totally different personas when dealing with men and women and this worked quite well for me in my life. With men I was more direct and forceful, with women I was more gentle and sensitive. I avoided strong, fiery women as much as possible as they intimidated me, and I didn’t know how to behave around them. My romantic relationships were usually with kind, caring, nurturing women that would be submissive and wouldn’t cause me too much hassle or stress.
I didn’t realise that there was anything wrong with my outlook on women until I met my girlfriend Mia and she started asking me questions that I’d never been asked before.
She asked me about what kids I would like to have. “Two boys” was my answer. “Why not a girl?”, she asked. My answer to this question triggered me in a big way.
I was terrified at the prospect of having a daughter. How would I protect her? In my head she would likely end up being abused by her boyfriend or having a teenage pregnancy and then I’d have to stop my life to look after her. How could I deal with a hormonal daughter on her period? I wouldn’t be able to tolerate the mood swings. I would be constantly worried for her safety and security.
So why did I have such negative subconscious perceptions of women?
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My previous life experiences up to this point had been shaped and filtered by several factors, the biggest of which being my environment. In my teens and early 20’s I was very much a lad’s lad, playing rugby and doing MMA. Going out to clubs, getting off my face and then sleeping with random women often as one-night stands. My friends and colleagues were mainly very masculine men with big egos. This is a far cry from how I started out.
I was a very sensitive and caring child. I loved cuddles and was often very feminine in my behaviours. (When I say feminine I am referring to Masculine versus Feminine / Yin versus Yang energy traits – this has nothing to do with Gender). I was very kind, thoughtful and affectionate as a kid. This lead to me being bullied a lot by both male and female family and friends and whenever I would display my more feminine qualities I would be called GAY or a PUFF. I learned very quickly that it was not ok to cry or show my emotions and that this would lead to being ridiculed, humiliated and getting beaten up. I concluded that something must be fundamentally wrong with me and so I started to study and emulate the older ‘men’ around me.
In my home town the gender equality gap is cavernous. For most families, men go to work to earn the money and the women stay at home and look after the kids. Teenage pregnancy rates are some of the highest in the country and this leads to most single mums being on benefits. Drug and alcohol abuse are a part of every day life and domestic violence is socially acceptable. Most couples that I knew in relationships were either deeply unhappy or were regularly cheating on each other. Almost nobody goes into further education and most peoples idea of a career is working in the same place for 40 years.
These formative years of my life created some deep subconscious programs that I have spent the past 3 years unravelling and reprogramming. I’m going to explain some of them for you below.
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After many years of emulating macho alpha males that regularly cheat on their girlfriends and often abused women mentally and emotionally, I discovered that this list of unconscious beliefs was stopping me from having honest and fulfilling relationships with women. I ask that you see this as me being open and vulnerable and know that none of these belief systems have power over me any longer (although there will inevitably be subconscious layers).
- Women let men use them in all ways which means they have little or no self-respect.
- Women are lazy, incompetent and unambitious.
- Women are unpredictable, erratic and can’t be relied upon especially when on their period.
- Women are too emotional and cry all the time.
- Women need men to protect them and provide for them.
- If you want something done right, then make sure you get a man to do it.
I’d like to state here very clearly that I fully accept responsibility for allowing myself to take on all this negative and derogatory programming. I am not making any excuses and I also know that I cannot change the past. What I can do is choose how I want to show up in this moment and in every moment from now. Everything started to change for me the moment I met Mia.
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Mia was so different to any woman I had ever gotten to know properly before. She had deep levels of self-respect and wouldn’t let me push her around. She was ambitious and very intelligent. She was funny, confident and independent. Most importantly I trusted her, and she allowed me to be myself without judging or dismissing any parts of me. She didn’t make fun of me or think I was weak for stepping into my feminine energy. I didn’t have to pretend anymore.
Since that time, I have been blessed to meet hundreds of powerful women from all walks of life. True goddesses that own their femininity and embrace all these divine aspects. They have taught me what it really means to step into my masculine and how to embrace my feminine energies harmoniously. I know now that I had to experience the contrast of both experiences with the feminine so that I could truly come to understand, love and respect women in all their glory. I can say with total honestly that I look forward to having a daughter one day and I no longer have any of those old fears.
I feel that a big part of my journey in this lifetime is to embody both the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine energies harmoniously. The Feminine has suffered for a long time and we are in a period of balance where both the masculine and the feminine can work together symbiotically.
I am truly grateful to all the women in my life. You are incredible, powerful and beautiful beings and I thank you for everything you have taught me and will continue to teach the masculine. Thank you for being so patient with me during the early parts of my journey so that I can now pass on these messages and teachings.
I want to apologise to the feminine wholeheartedly for any pain or suffering that I have contributed to.
I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Luke
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Luke Scott is an International Speaker, Television Host and Spiritual Mentor.
Growing up in a dysfunctional family, drugs and violence were a normal part of Luke’s home and family life. Luke never fitted into this environment and knew he was destined for much greater things.
From a young age, Luke was fascinated with business, sales and psychology and has had many business ventures which taught him some essential do’s and don’ts. Luke spent 6 years working for a FTSE 100 company learning the secrets of how the world’s most successful companies and people operate. After having a deep awakening experience, Luke began an intense journey to discover who he truly is and what he truly wants. Luke now travels the world sharing these secrets from stage so that others can achieve true success and happiness without having to spend 10 years learning these things themselves.
Luke’s main values are growth and balance. “We can have everything in this life that we desire, but first we have to find out who we are and what we truly want.”
My specialty topics are Spirituality, Public Speaking, Self-Expression, Communication, Law of Attraction, Sex and Intimacy, Entrepreneurship, Sales and Mindset Mastery.
Connect with me on Facebook for videos and details of my events: Facebook
Watch my TV show here: www.standoutonline.tv
Want more clarity on your True Life Purpose? Get my ‘How to Find Your Purpose in 7 Days’ program at: http://bit.ly/find-my-purpose-7-days